Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize