lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
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"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
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let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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