thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize