Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
either way he was missing a nipple.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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