I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize