UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
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My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
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It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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