Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize