all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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