i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
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we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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