i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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