Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
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She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
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Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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