Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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