I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
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We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
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We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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