Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Is it because I queefed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize