i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize