MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize