There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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