I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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