Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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