fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
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