Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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