Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize