Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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