I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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