I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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