I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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