I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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