I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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