Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize