I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
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You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
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The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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