you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize