haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Non-Jews are for practice
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Randomize