This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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