Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize