Ambien. No doubt about it.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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