Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
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can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
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I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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