Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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