i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize