Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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