good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Is it because I queefed?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
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You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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