the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
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Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
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So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I could fuck to npr.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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