I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize