i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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