There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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