I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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