So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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