i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
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I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
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I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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