We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize