Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize