Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize